According to neighbors the house, 4312 Speakeasy Lane, saw
an increase in the number of cars parked outside and visitors at all hours.
One neighbor stated seeing a car arrive at 3 a.m. and four
large men with dirty tee shirts and unkempt beards get out and enter the house
only to come out several minutes later carrying several large light green cases
and multiple bags of orange puff chips.
The normally quiet neighborhood was shocked when police
started removing the soda from the house. Along with the soda they found
several computers, violent video games, mini pizza beagles, and salty snacks.
One health conscious neighbor spoke with reporters saying “Our
neighborhood is dedicated to the ideals of healthy living. We walk our dogs and
jog on this very street and we stand united against the distribution of this
vile substance in our community. We stand in solidarity with all healthy people
and denounce this sort of behavior.”
One suspect, 30 year old Joe Dooley, has been arrested on 20
different charges including Distribution of a Controlled Substance and Tax
Evasion. His bail has been set at $100,000 and he is being held at Seattle
Police Department North Precinct.
According to the Seattle Police Chief this is the largest
illegal soda running operation discovered to date.
Written By Cody Benson
For No Fact News
A Cody Benson Parody
Too funny...maybe...or is it prophetic??
ReplyDeleteThanks, I have had one of my satires come true before. It was about a kid showing off an old photo of his grandfather from WWII and getting the whole school shut down and suspended because the picture had a gun in it. Last year(2017) a kid got suspended and the school shut down because he liked a picture of an airsoft gun on Instagram. Only time will tell if we have bootleg soda heading to Seattle. Thanks for the comment.
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