A quick YouTube search will turn up several videos of them
knocking over, kicking and throwing trash cans around.
This puzzled me, so I decided to look into it, and some of
the answers I found astounding.
Antifa’s Official Unofficial
Statements
I first had to find some Antifa members to interview, so I
searched their natural habitat, the upscale coffee shop near a publicly funded
university.
I found a group of Antifa members on their iPhone and approached
the group. It was difficult at first because they kept yelling every time I
tried to ask a question, but eventually I got a few statements out of some of
the members.
One member said looking up from her iPhone: “Trash cans hide
the horror of capitalisms excesses, knocking them over just brings the truth
into the light.”
A thin short Antifa said “Trash cans are full of garbage and
so are Fascists, destroying them sends a clear message to all Fascists that
they are not welcome here.”
Some of the statements included:
“Hitler talked a lot about removing the ‘trash’ and ‘filth’
from society in his book Mien Kampf. These trash cans are a constant reminder
to marginalized people of how our society is run by white supremacists. You
just don’t understand my struggle as a trans person of color vegan.”
“Trash cans are just full of destruction of the environment
and must be eliminated to save the whales.”
“They oppress poor and homeless people who may look in them
for food or soda cans by labeling the cans with the word Trash. It should be
changed to Discarded and Unwanted Item Repository to ensure we are not
discriminating against the poor.”
The reason Antifa hates trash can is complex and varied but
they are not the only ones focusing on the trash can question.
Kekistani Order of
the Emerald Wastebasket
As I left the coffee shop a man with a green frog pin approached
me.
He overheard the shouting match, the traditional method of
communication for Antifa, and said he wanted to give his side of the story. At
first it was strange to hear someone speaking normally and without something
covering his face.
He said he was part of an order of Kekistani Knights who
revered the trash can as a holy icon of shit posting. They call themselves The
Kekistani Order of the Emerald Wastebasket.
Explaining that the Order was dedicated to protecting the
trash can as well as the liberty of society to use trash cans as a place to
dump dank crap and spicy eats.
“Every day Normie and Kekistani pilgrims pay homage to and
leave offering for the icon, it is our job to make sure they can continue to do
so.” Said the man who identified himself as Sargon of the Frog.
It is good to know that there are people who are out there
fighting back against this trash can genocide and it gives me hope that we will
have trash cans far into the future so they can be enjoyed by the next
generation. Shadilay my dudes!
No persons were
interviewed for the post, in case you are not in on it, this was a parody. If
these jokes makes you angry that makes it funnier.
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