I needed a way to express what was on my mind. There were
things that I felt needed to be said, even if it was just on some blog in some
corner of the internet that no one visits. The blog was also a way to get me to
write more and to further my writing career. As I started writing I also found
more reasons to continue my blog.
Too afraid
I had a friend tell me they were biting their tongue on a
certain topic because they own their own business. They were worried about what
would happen if they spoke up. This floored me.
When I asked why, they said they were afraid of speaking their
mind because they did not want to lose their business or any customers for
saying something too controversial. My knee jerk reaction shocked me as well. I
did not think of this person as a coward, afraid to stand up for free speech.
Actually quite the opposite.
My friend has a family and a wife who depend on him. He was
sacrificing expressing his opinion in order to continue to be able to take care
of his family. Although I disagreed with keeping silent I respected his bravery
and sacrifice for his family. He was fighting for a better future for them in
his own way.
This impacted me more than I realized at the time. This fortified
me to continue writing. Having the ability to say things that he might want
said but is unable to say is part of the reason I continue writing this blog.
Needs to be said
I was very nervous when I decided to post things publicly. I
thought that people would read it and mock me or try to use what I said to get
me fired. My blog is not that big so I do not have to worry about that for now,
but it did cross my mind.
I first thought that I could keep quiet and continue to live
a peaceful easy life. Who knows I might even go my whole life without this
problem ever showing up at my door step. Yet as free speech was under more and
more attack I decided that not saying something would be worse than saying
something.
From my point of view, I might go through a hard time now
but in the long run it would be better if I speak up. Free speech is a right
everyone is born with, but each right carries a responsibility with it. My
responsibility was to say what I thought needed to be said as clearly and
honestly as I could. I might not get it right all the time but it was better
than being silent.
Ability
I spent five years studying and writing papers in college. I
used to be really good at it. I even graduated with a degree in English.
In that time in school I developed an ability to write and
to clearly articulate what I wanted to say. Or at least that is what I thought.
I quickly learned that after years with little use, I was out of practice. The
knowledge I gained in school allowed me to write well enough for a good grade
but did not give me the power of clear and concise writing.
I have always loved to write, but this was a different kind
of writing. It is easy to write a journal entry or just post whatever is on
your mind, but a blog post needs to be interesting and powerful enough to get
people interested in reading it.
I know with each blog post I get a bit better at what I want
to say and in my writing ability. Each post is a chance to sharpen my writing
skills so that I can lay out a clear idea and express it to the world as fully
and truthfully as I can.
Each post is also a chance to refine my ideas. I had one set
of ideas going in, sometimes they get stronger, some get weaker and need more
research, and some come up just wrong. I know I have made progress in my
ability and that is why I continue to write.
This was not an accident, but rather an ability that I
cultivated and continue to strengthen over time and through experience. This
was driven by watching my friends and family crushed online when they dared to
post what they thought. I had some extended family members who left Facebook
for a time because of how harshly they were treated by other family members for
expressing their opinions.
They expressed their opinions alongside mine and were
bullied off of Facebook for it. I knew that the best way in dealing with these
bullies was not to bully back or complain, but instead to get better.
I wanted to be ready to pick up my opinion and be able to
stand strong with it if I needed to. I got torn to shreds a few times, I have
been called names and attacked online, but it was all a learning process. Each
insult was a chance to grow and get better. To weed out those weak ideas or
weak methods of expression.
Purpose
I did not write because I wanted to become the voice for the
voiceless. I want them to be their own voice. Instead I write because I wanted
to show them that it can be done and that they are not alone.
I wanted to show them that they do not need to be ashamed of
their ideas. That they are not racist because they voted Republican or agree
with Trump on one issue or another. I wanted them to know that just because
they have a hard time articulating their ideas that does not make them
incorrect.
I have a lot of different reasons why I write, some self-interested
and others grounded in personal experiences. Every reason I have is my own. Mostly
I write because I love it and somehow I feel I have a responsibility to do so.
Thanks for reading.
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