Since his election, rumors have been circulated among the
media, intellectuals on college campus, and Hollywood elites, also known as
people with the right ideas. They make connections from the Trump campaign and
Russia and how they conspired to rig the election so Putin could put his man in
the white house. It is as clear as day for anyone to see the connection, but
the alt-right and the Nazi’s all want proof of this. They should just believe
what they are told, because it is for the good of the world to do so. Also if
they don’t we are going to punch them.
Included in
these truths that cannot be questioned is the fact that Trump wants to be a
dictator in a very fascist way. NoFact news even has evidence to prove all of
this is true. The proof will shock you and could have been missed if not for
the dedication to truth and integrity of our hardworking, honest, upstanding
reporters. They are great reporters and work tirelessly to bring you the truth
on all things about Cheeto-and-Chief, President Twitter himself. No biased
reporting or fluff pieces, just hard facts and truth. We are truthful and the
Fuhrer Toupee is a lying, hate spewing, racist, sexist, homophobe, Islamaphobe,
Xenophobe, Transphobe, who steals candy from babies and punches grandma’s at nursing
homes, while driving a Hummer that only gets 2 miles per gallon of whale oil,
which he gets from all the whales he kills.
The proof
of all this was revealed last night, while at a restaurant in the DC area, one
of our reporters spotted Neo-Hitler Trump as he sat down to eat dinner. The
reporter got close enough to hear what was being said and recorded the whole
thing. Words like Caesar and Russian were thrown around a lot by the Not My
President as he was talking with a man in a white shirt and black tie. When
confronted later the man insisted he was just a waiter, but with a name like
Peter, it was quite clear he is a Russian operative. The most shocking of all
things was when this Russian operative brought out a plate full of lettuce,
croutons, Parmesan cheese, lemon juice, olive oil, egg, Worcestershire sauce,
garlic, and black pepper. Some sort of secret communication no doubt between
Putin and President Tiny Hands. Then the operative asked a question, which the
reply was “Russian”. The operative, understanding the code word handed Fuhrer Cheeto-Tiny
Hands a small bottle of pink thick liquid. He poured it all over the plate, a
clearly secret answer to the operative who walked away.
NoFact Fact
checkers have been hard at work decoding this exchange. So far Caesar seems to
mean, I will be Fuhrer and Russian means Putin. The fact that he poured the
liquid over the plate means that his dream of being Fuhrer of America is mixed
together with Putin. A clear and obvious sign of collusion between Putin and He
Who Shall Not Be My President to put President Toupee in as Fuhrer of America
to work for Putin. Anyone who can see anything else is just an ignorant
uneducated idiot who should never be listened too because they are just in a
cult dedicated to Lord Cheeto himself. With this evidence, the President should
stop destroying the country and step down as president and Bernie Sanders
should be put into the office, because he is the most honest, caring, trustworthy
person ever (and he is socialist and everyone knows socialism is the best
government ever).
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